daycarefool

Good Morning,

I logged onto buddyslim this morning and found I had one e-mail, so I decided I would read it.

I wished now that I hadn’t because it really made me angry.

Whoever this person MEFA is left me an e-mail in response to a blog I left over the summer about my little dog drowning.  This person didn’t lend one iota of suppport, instead they accused me of animal abuse and that I need to learn to take better care of my dog.

 First of all, MEFA, you don’t know the whole situation and you don’t know what kind of person I am.  So before you go throwing stones, you better make sure you are PERFECT.  How dare you say that to me.

This site is supposed to be about support.  If you can’t be supportive, THEN GET THE HELL OFF THIS SITE!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR-2009 EVERYONE!

I went on a vacation for the New Year weekend.  Had a great time, we played lots of cards, hiked, and ate lots and lots.  I discovered just how out of shape I am when we went hiking.  The trouble breathing and my legs wanting to give out from other me.  I made the hike and no one had to wait on me, but the panting like a dog was crazy. 

I weighed myself this morning and the 11 pound weight loss I had is gone.  I was so mad at myself!  Now I am over that and it is time to get busy and get my behind in gear.  Last time I was on buddyslim, I think I did it more for the companionship than for dieting.   Well I still want the companionship, but I have to work on the dieting as well.  Spring will be here soon and I want to be able to wear my shorts without the wiggle and jiggle. 

I have my treadmill all set up and ready to go and my husband got me wireless headphones so I can walk and watch tv and hear what they are saying over the noise of the treadmill.  So looks like I will be walking while I watch my Law and Order.  That should be a big help.  I also need to watch what foods I am shoving into my mouth.  I eat out of boredom, my husband leaves the house at about 710am and doesn’t get home until anywhere from 10-11pm.  He is working a part-time job and night to help out with the economic crunch.  He loves it because he has lost over 20 pounds.  I am proud of him but I eat because I am home alone alot.  Need to find things to occupy my time better so I don’t feel the need to munch, like  hey, walk my treadmill.

Well I hope everyone has a great day and week and let’s all get back on track so we can wear our spring and summer clothes and feel great in them.

Hey Buddies,

I have to blog and I don’t know if this will even get read, but I have to get this all off my chest before I explode.  I have been dealing with so much lately.

I have told you in the past that my best friend had moved in with me and my husband about 20 months ago.  He has been our friend for years and him and I have a brother/sister relationship and we have never crossed the line.  Just want to make that clear.

Anyway he has in the past drank too much at times, go on a binge from time to time.  Well he met this woman and I just never felt she was right for him, something about her nagged at me.  Well they were all peaches and cream for the first 3 months and after that the fighting began.  Neither one of them like to be alone so they stay together and be miserable than to break up and be apart.  That has caused some problems with his drinking, the binges has increased greatly.  In the last 6 months, he has gotten 3 DUI arrests.  Well 2 weeks ago she called it off.  He spent the entire weekend in the bar.  I warned him it was going to cause trouble for him acting this way.  Well a little over a week ago he got his 3rd DUI.  Now he is currently in jail, (where I think he belongs).  All of a sudden now, the ex-girlfriend wants to play Miss Supportive.  This drives me absolutely insane.

She just never knows when to cut her losses and move on.  I have been having to handle things for him on the outside while he is in jail (he bond is too hefty to get him out).  She texts me all the time so what did you find out today, have you heard from him etc….  I try to ignore the texts.  If I dont’ answer the text comes again, if I ignore that one then the phone starts ringing.  If you say something to her that she doesn’t want to hear she becomes short and snappy with you.   I don’t know what to do with her.

Right now I feel like my life is on hold.  Court date is coming up soon and we will find out for sure how much longer he will have in jail.  Part of me is hoping that it is a good while (maybe too long for her to hold on).  I am hoping he will have learned something from this mess.  I am afraid however that things could start up again if she persists to hang around.

I find myself nibbling, I know it is my nerves.  They are about shot.  I am not sleeping well at all and I am living on Diet Mt. Dew.  My husband is being such a sport.  He is rubbing my shoulders at night to release the tension, he says they are so tight.  I am hanging on but feel as though the rope will break soon.  His mom who is elderly (76 with health issues) calls me and asks me for any news I may have about her son.  She is the sweetest little white haired lady you could meet and she has her southern accent to go right along with it.  I try to paint a better picture for her than what things are but I think she knows that. 

I just hope that my life will become normal again; well as normal as one’s life gets.  I want to start back on my weight management becasue I know it is November, but before we know it, it will be spring and time for shorts and swimsuits again and I don’t want to hide, I want to be able to go to the pool and feel great.

Thanks for reading this long blog if you read it.  I just needed some therapy. 

Have a great rest of the week.

I took me a little break from buddyslim. I had so much going on that I  couldn’t devote the time I felt I needed to my buddies and to myself.  This is the last week of marching band season and we head to Atlanta this weekend for our last competition.  So now maybe with practices being over and my weekends free again, I can focus on me for a change.  I have been doing what I can to keep up with everything.  The good thing is during my break, I didn’t gain anything. So I can continue and not re-lose what I had already lost.  I hope to be able to start back and blog fairly regularly and get back in touch with my buddies.  I hope you all have a good week.

Well everyone in court was in agreement to reduce the charges from DUI to Reckless Operation.  That made my friend very happy.  Until the arresting officer had his say.  He won’t agree to it.  So now they are going to pull the arresting video from the squad car and review it.  So now he goes back to court Aug. 26th.  More waiting.  Thought the worrying would ease up, but don’t look like it.

Well hubby is training this week for his new part time job with UPS.  He is working the “Twilight shift” as they call it.  5pm-10pm.  I am trying to get into a routine of doing things around the house and cooking what I want to eat for a change.  It has only been 2 days so it will take a little time, but I am right on track.

Well I am going to go take something for this stomach ache of mine that woke me up at 1am.  I didn’t eat supper so I don’t really know what brought it on.  Hope it will pass soon.

Have a great day–stay in control!!!

Today my friend that I have written about goes to court for his DUI arrest.  I am nervously sitting here waiting for the call to see what happens in court.  He does need to learn a lesson, yet I don’t want the judge to be overly hard.  Hope that makes sense.  He had gotten a second DUI 7 weeks after this one he is in court for.  He hadn’t gotten a lawyer so the postponed that case until December 2, so this isn’t all over with yet.  What a mess he has made, but since the second arrest, he has been to AA almost everyday.  We had a long time and I told him it was about time he admitted to himself that he was an alcoholic.  He said he was ready for that.  He will be sober 1 month this Sunday.  I am proud of him and he is excited to receive his 1 month chip from AA.  I hope he continues with this progress.  I had to write all this because it was just floating around in my head and so I thought if I put it down on paper so to speak, I could get it off my chest.

On a lighter note, I did quite well yesterday on my new plan.  My husband is now working at night and I can eat the things he won’t like salads, fish etc…..  I am hoping to lose some weight that I keep holding onto. 

I hope everyone has a great day!  Thanks for listening

I admit it, I can be the worse buddy at times.  I go in spurts where I am contacting and blogging and replying to people’s  blogs like crazy and then I slack off.  That is not how I want to do things at all.  So today I decided to do something about it.  I sent a personal message (not a group message) to all the buddies on my list who haven’t been on buddyslim for a while.  I don’t know when they will get the message, but when they do, they will see the message and me asking them to come back and give me and buddyslim another chance.  This site is for support and if people aren’t getting it, they will drop by the wayside.  So I am going to step it up a notch and try to be a better buddy on buddyslim.  I really do miss talking to so many of the people.  I think this contact will help me stay focused too, because Lord knows I need it.   So stay in touch with all your buddies and show them you are there for them and support them.  I know that is what I am going to try to do, I may have my days but I will get right back on it just like we need to when we fall of the “diet wagon”.    Hope everybody can reach out and touch someone and make their day so much better with a kind word or thought.

Have a great day!

I am wondering how much more crap do I have to go thru.  Seems the drama never stops.  No matter how much I try to distance myself from it, it fnds me.  I am so very tired of it all.  Nobody listens to a word that I say.  Our friend moved in with us in Feb 2007 and then he moves out with his girlfriend and then they fight and he comes and crashes here for a night or two and they both say they are thru and then he is back over there leaving his crap at my house.  I take it over to him and before long it is back at my house.  Those two are like oil and water, they will never mix.

Then to top all this off, my husband’s job is on the line, well all those who work for the state of TN have their jobs on the line.  They are doing layoffs and buyouts to get people to leave the state so they can reign in the budget.  This Friday when they get paid, they will get a letter if they have been chosen for this.  Talk about stress and worry.  My husband is actively looking for another job right now to be prepared just in case and if he doesn’t get the layoff, he still wants to work the job to pay off bills and get rid of those bills that won’t come back, like his student loan.

It was time for me to reinstate my license for daycare, I was watching 8 kids.  Well I guess because he is upset with the state, he wouldn’t let me reinstate my license so I had to drop to 4 kids.  Well that dropped my pay in half.  So we are now on a very tight, tight budget.  I went to the grocery and spent only $29.90 way below my usual bill.  We have food, we aren’t starving yet.

With all this drama and stress, I just don’t have the motivation to get my butt moving.  I know I should, I know it would help with the stress.  I am getting to the point that I really just don’t care right now and I hate that feeling.  This is not me. 

I am at my witts end.  Don’t know what I should do.  Any suggestions???

I want to thank all of you who supported me and with all your love and kindness with the loss of my dog, Rufus.  We went a week and could no longer handle Max crying and howling so we went and got ourselves another dachshund, mini.   He came with the name Oscar on his papers.  We thought about changing it but we haven’t.  My husband goes around calling him Oscar Myer.  So now we have Oscar and Max. 

I also could use some advice on how to get motivated again.  I seem to have lost the reason I went looking for a site like this in the first place.  Any advice or words of wisdom would be most appreciated.  I just don’t really seem to care anymore and I don’t like that feeling.  HELP ME!!!

Y’all have a great day, I know here in TN we will once again roast.  It is going to be 90 which isn’t really so bad, but that humidity gets up so high that the air is just so thick.  Maybe I should just sit outside all day and roast like an ear of corn on the grill.  Maybe I can sweat the weight off.

Morning all,

I am still in shock.  My dog drowned in our pool yesterday.  Rufus was a very friendly dog and so cute.  My daughters had let our 2 dogs out in the back yard.  The dogs always go on the deck and sun bathe.  When they went to call them in, only one dog came in.  The began looking all around for Rufus.  They couldn’t find him.  They came and got me saying “mom, we can’t find Rufus anywhere”  So I went to the back yard and started looking around and calling his name.  Checked the back gate to see if maybe he had gotten out.  I started to look under the deck to see if he went there and couldn’t get out, but no Rufus.  Then something made me pull off the solar cover to our pool.  There laying on the bottom of the pool was 11 pound Rufus.  I screamed, my daughter came running and the other one started crying.  She jumped in and handed me Rufus.  He was gone.  I wrapped him in beach towels and called my husband and told him we had found Rufus in the bottom of the pool.   He got home in record time.  He came to the back yard and picked up Rufus and started screaming his name and balling.  I have never in 21 years seen my husband like this.  It broke my heart, and my daughters were so tore up to see their daddy like this.  My girls are 18 and 15.  We spent the afternoon in mourning.  We buried Rufus behind the privacy fence and put big rocks on his grave so no animals could dig him up.  We have a wooded area behind our house.  We just lost our other dog Roscoe 6 months ago to a disease that left him with no use of his back end.  We had to put him down.  Rufus mourned and mourned for Roscoe  so we went and got Max to give him a friend.  Max was a dog who was in a kennel for the first 3 years of his life.  He is learning to be a pet.  He is such a cute guy.  Now Max is all alone and he is mourning the loss of Rufus.  He sits in the kitchen and howls. He has never done that before.  So we will see how long it is before we go and get Max a friend.  I still don’t know how or why Rufus went into the pool.   I will greatly miss my little buddy.